Breaking News - Raleigh, NC

Jeff Gordon, Professional Stock Car racer announced today that he was
firing his entire pit crew.  This announcement followed Gordon's
decision to take advantage of President Obama's plea to employ Black
Harlem youngsters.  The decision to hire them was brought about by a
recent documentary on how unemployed Black youths from Harlem were
able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper
equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 9
seconds with thousands of dollars’ worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management
team, as many races are won or lost in the pits.

However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.  At the crew's first
practice session, not only was the inexperienced Black crew able to
change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 9 seconds they had
changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to
Dale Earnhardt Jr. for  10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some
photos of Jeff's wife in the shower.