This last joke may also leave a mark! Is she also considered a Mudslinger?

THE BEST DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over,
looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says:
'I went by your grandma's house today and
I saw her in the hallway buck naked.
Man, she is one fine looking woman!'
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word.
His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and
would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says:
'I got it on with your grandma and she is good,
the best I ever had!'
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad
but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says,
'I'll tell you something else, boy,
your grandma liked it!'

At this point the biker stands up,
takes the drunk by the shoulders
looks him square in the eyes and says....................

'Grandpa;....... Go home!  
You're drunk.' . .

WAY FUNNY.

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.  To get rid of his old fridge,
he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to go home.  You want it, you take it.'  For three days the fridge sat there without
even one person looking twice at it.  He eventually decided that people were
too un-trusting of this deal.  It looked to good to be true, so he changed
the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'  The next day someone stole it.*

*Caution... They Walk Among Us!*
***********


*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted....'Look at that dead bird!'  Someone looked up at the sky and
said...' where???'*

**They Walk among us!!*


****
My colleague and I were eating lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard
one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on
her weekend drive to the beach.  She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't
think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!*

****
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a
seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!*

***
My friends and I were on a Beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%.  Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.  The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... *

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!*

***
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.  My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip
out every time she turned her head?'  I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is
turned...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! *

***
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area.  So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.  'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived
yet?'...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!*

***
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to
go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6.  He thought about it for some time before responding.
'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6
pieces."

Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!*

*Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!*
******************************
Race went fishing, stopped at the bait shop and asked "how much is the bait"
the man told him he would give him all he wants for a dollar
Race said " give me two dollars worth"

" I’m confused..    how can 2 million blacks get into Washington DC in sub zero temps in 1 day when 200,000 couldn’t get out of New Orleans at 85 degrees with four days notice."

Baskin Robbins is introducing a new ice cream in honor of the
inauguration, "Barocky Road".  It's half vanilla, half chocolate, and
surrounded by fruits and nuts!

SNL



"I'm wearing them and I just did"

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking.  Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'

The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man..



'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.




'Nope,' said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."

New use for Windex  

I haven't checked 'snopes.com' to see if this actually
works  or not . . .  But they say,  










If you ever get the sudden Urge to run around naked,
You should sniff some Windex first.  
It'll keep you from streaking.

LOL.

to flippin funny!!!!!!