Politics is like driving, it's R to go backwards and D to go forward.

WOW!!!  Shot my first turkey today!!!
Scared the crap out of the folks in the frozen food section!!

Why do Republicans never worry about using up all the world's fossil fuels?
They're only a few years from becoming more of it themselves.

Ba-da-bing.

"Republican frontrunner New Ginrich says he's going to try to follow Ronald Reagan's 11th commandment that a Republican should never attack another Republican. Let's hope he has better luck with the 11th commandment than he did with the 7th commandment."

"I still got it." - Ralph Malph

Now that is perfect

>Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan , was being
>interviewed by a liberal journalist, an animal rights activist.
>The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, 'What
>do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before
>         you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you
>         the one who killed my brother?
>
>Nugent replied, 'Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking.
>         All they care about is, what am I going to eat next, who
>         am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to
>         get away? They are very much like the Democrats in
>         Congress.'

Make sure you scroll to the right. lol

mudslinger47 wrote on 12/07/11 at 4:54pm:


Billy's a graphic aritst.  It was photoshopped.

Socially Unacceptable Humor


I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest pen!s she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling
my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume
she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going
fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should
change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking
behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she
would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not
listening".

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the
worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes
back.

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost
by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing
commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct
answer either.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but
I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new
bomber jackets.

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his
girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said
"Her brother's got a mustache."

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on
another site. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing
I know 4,000 dumbass Muslims have added me as a friend!!

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I
said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in
my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular
people-porn, you sick bastard.

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help
towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our
garden hose only reaches the driveway.

Texas Sheriff Entrance Exam:

A man in Texas looking to join the Frio County Sheriff's Dept. was being
interviewed.

The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications look good,
but there's an attitude suitability test you must pass before you can be
accepted." Then, sliding a S & W .45 ACP pistol across the desk, he says to the
man, "Take this pistol; go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth
dealers, six Muslim extremists, six 'Progressive Liberal' democrats, and a
rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?" the man asked.

"That's the attitude we're looking for!" said the Sergeant, "When can you start?"

I love Texas

A doctor from  France says: "In France, the medicine is so advanced that
we cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."

The German doctor comments: "That's nothing, in  Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person's head, and
in 4 weeks he is looking for work."

A Russian doctor says: "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half

tof the heart from a person; we put it into another person's chest, and
in 2 weeks he is looking for work."

The U.S. doctor answers immediately: "That's nothing, my colleagues,
you are way behind us. In the USA, about 3 years ago we grabbed a person from  Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls. We made him
President of the United States, and now the whole darn country is looking for work.